Covenant

Every once in a while, when I have a really great night of work at Memorial, I feel some very deep-rooted anger well up in me, and it is directed toward Covenant Health System. When I clock in at Memorial and see that my assignment involves 4 patients and that I will be assisted by a very hard-working PCT (patient care technician), and that my PCT only has 10 patients himself, it reminds me of evenings at Covenant when my assignment involved 9 patients and there was no nurse aid on the unit.

So here's a poem that reminds me of all the patients that CHS fails on a daily basis, along with a poster that should be nailed on the front door:

I'm sorry in advance
Your bed's not made today
But I have a patient here
Whose chest pain won't go away.

I'm sorry in advance
You're not happy with your meal.
Dietary does try hard
To give it some appeal.

I'm sorry in advance
Your evening pills are late.
I've a patient climbing out of bed
That I must try to sedate.

I'm sorry in advance
Your mattress isn't soft.
We do need some new beds, ma'am,
But these things do cost a lot.

I'm sorry in advance
I didn't get to comb your mother's hair.
I've a patient with emphysema.
She's scared - she can't get air.

I'm sorry in advance
Your father's still in pain.
I'm trying to reach his doctor.
I'll have to try again.
(I need to note here that this isn't just CHS docs. So here's to all the doctors who never page back!)

I'm sorry in advance
Your dressing changes aren't yet done,
But a patient has just passed away:
I offered solace to his son.

I'm sorry in advance
I'm not cheery as a bird.
I've worked 12 hours, my feet ache,
I asked for help, but no one heard.
(Did I forget to mention my third shift coworkers whose favorite statement was "But that's not my patient."???)

I'm sorry in advance
I've only two hands and two feet.
I'm trying hard to care for you;
Your needs I want to meet.

My 12 hours are now 16,
No replacement could be found.
My aching feet, they cry out,
My head begins to pound.

I'm sorry in advance
That I cannot meet your gaze.
My eyes are filled with tears
And your face is just a haze.

If I could sit down for a minute
And maybe grab a bite,
Phone my kids to say I love them
And I'll be late again tonight.
(Oh, and did I mention all those days I didn't clock out until 9:30am???)

I'm sorry in advance
If I didn't do all that must be done.
If I worked any faster,
I'd soon begin to run.

When I do get to hold your hand
Or wipe your furrowed brow,
Please understand, dear patient,
That I care for you, and how...

I sense your pain, I sense your fear,
Your anger in a glance.
Our health care system is failing you:
I'm sorry in advance!

Totally Like Whatever, You Know?

Totally Like Whatever, You Know?
by Taylor Mali

In case you hadn't noticed,
it has somehow become uncool
to sound like you know what you're talking about.
Or believe strongly in what you're, like, saying.
Invisible question marks and parenthetical (you know?)'s
and (you know what I'm saying)'s
have been attaching themselves to the ends of our sentences?
Even when those sentences aren't, like, questions? You know?

Declarative sentences - so-called
because they used to, like, you know, declare things to be true,
you know?
As opposed to other things were, like, totally, you know, not?
Have been infected by a totally hip
and tragically cool interrogative tone? You know?
Like, don't think I'm uncool just because I've noticed this;
I have nothing personally invested in my own opinions, okay?
I'm just inviting you to join me on the bandwagon
of my own uncertainty?

What has happened to our conviction?
Where are the limbs out on which we once walked?
Have they been, like, chopped down
with the rest of the rain forest? You know?
Or do we have, like, nothing to say?
Has society become so, like, totally...
I mean absolutely... you know?
That we've just gotten to the point where it's just, like...
whatever!

And so actually our disarticulation...ness
is just a clever sort of... thing
to disguise the fact that we've become
the most aggressively inarticulate generation
to come along since...
you know, a long, long time ago!

I entreat you, I implore you, I exhort you,
I challenge you: speak with conviction.
Say what you believe in a manner than bespeaks
the determination with which you believe it.
Because contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker,
it is not enough these days to simply question authority.
You have to speak with it too.